Sunday, 25 November 2012

A sad musical post. But what is it? Is it life or sacrifice? Both.

This day follows the day in which I took my last music exam ever (most probably), Grade 8 popular theory and this weekend marks the end of my eleven years of music education. In effect, this blog (for which use is limited and sporadic) will thus be my only musical creative output now. This saddens me deeply. 

When I was six, I was lucky enough to receive a demonstration performance of my local music school in my hometown, and after weekendly visits to Curry's and extreme admiration of all the keyboards they had to offer there, I took up music lessons as a hobby and so my mother would find me something to do that wasn't reading or primary school work. This 'taster session' transcended into a full eleven years of lessons, concerts, tears, sweat and lots of hard work into this weekend and the cultivation and conclusion of grade 8.

I'm struggling to write this blog post right now because from now on, there will be a large gaping hole in my life where my creative input lived. But why do you not carry on, you ask? I have made a sacrifice, a final sacrifice, to get into University next year, and for me to achieve this I must finally drop the last thing and stop kidding myself I am superwoman.

Every moment, more or less, is something I've benefited from. I know that for sure my children will have an extra-curricular music education from a young age, but they not be lucky enough to get the standards of the one I attained. 

Of course, apart from the obvious musical literacy in words and notation, performance confidence, creative knowledge required in order to learn an instrument (an instrument that is severely underrated, something that takes a great deal of effort and undeniably, talent to learn... grade 7 was one of the hardest things I've ever done), my lessons gave me invaluable social interaction with young people whose minds worked just like mine. Without popular music theory, I wouldn't have discovered Nirvana. Without Nirvana, I wouldn't have formed an interest in the works of popular music itself. I wouldn't be writing this blog post right now. I wouldn't have considered being a music journo as a possible career, and I still often think about it. 

I would in no way be what I am: my work ethic; my long fingers; my confidence on stage; my vital extracurricular on UCAS; my application granted to travel to Australia last year with a real theatre company and of course, my stunning ability to be able to form an Am7#5#11 chord and know exactly what scale fits over it. Yes, some may seem trivial, but they make me complete. 

Honestly, I don't know why I wrote this post. But I'm kind of mourning, and writing on a platform about music is consoling, another trait I wouldn't haven't discovered. 

Here is a link to Lana Del Rey, a new odd taste of mine that I just can't get enough of. 
Sometimes walking away from something when it feels right gives you happiness... and eventually I'll feel that next year when I get accepted into a Uni to do what I want to do and have wanted to for a while now. But for now, I'll leave it here. 

Thank you for everything, Liz. Apart from my mother, you are the next single biggest influence on my life and always will be. You are fabulous. 

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